Screen time. This can be such a tough thing to tackle in the little years, especially when society as a whole has become 100% digitalized. If you’re wanting to cut back or eliminate screens in your home and are feeling alone or scared to do so, I wanted to share how we did it, what our experience has been so far, and what our goals are moving forward.
What made us decide to cut out screens during the week?
To put it very simply, we were relying on them versus utilizing them. When it was a rainy day or a slow afternoon, we would watch a show or a movie. When we were cooking dinner, and the littles were tired and hungry, we would put on a show (educational ones, but still a kids show). While there isn’t anything wrong with that in and of itself, we just became uncomfortable with the reliance and felt convicted to make a change.
How did the littles respond?
We were upfront and honest with our little people and told them that we would not be watching any movies during the week, and would be saving screens for Friday night movie nights! Just as a disclaimer, even though we watched shows during the week, we rarely went over an hour a day for screens, so when we cut them out during the week days it wasn’t a huge transition. When we talked to them about it we made it very positive by saying how excited we were to make new memories with them during the week and that we would have so much fun picking a movie out together on Friday. They became excited as well, and were 100% on board!
How long did it take to adjust?
The kids asked almost every day during the first week if they could watch a show, and instead of just saying “no” we always responded with ideas of what we could do instead. So, for example, my little one came up to me and asked if they could watch their favorite show, and instead of giving a one-word answer I asked them a question back, “Is it Friday night?” When they responded with a “no”, it gave them the clarity and the ability to think through the change. After that, we replied with a “since it’s not Friday night, what would you like to do?” We can play a game, color, make some play dough, paint, read, bake some cookies with mama, etc. They always get so excited to pick from all the fun options. The second week, they only asked twice. The third week they didn’t ask at all, and we started to find a new rhythm with doing new activities!
What is the hardest part about doing things screen free?
Honestly, the hardest part is having a plan. Always having a plan for when the toddler is tired and hungry, and dinner is still being cooked. A plan for when all the littles fall asleep in the car on the way home and wake up struggling with happiness. Before, it was so easy to just put on a video and let them watch it while dinner was being prepared. Now it’s about having things ready when you need them. For me, it’s having a batch of play dough always ready to be played with, sensory things like water beads, or kinetic sand are also incredible. Things that are quiet, soft, and soothing really help littles regulate their emotions. Our favorite thing we do is cuddling on the couch with them with some good books. Hugging them until they choose to happily get down to go play is another powerful way to fill their cups (and ours). It requires a lot of intentionality, but it’s simply beautiful.
What has changed in our family?
This is my favorite part. Everything! It has changed everything. We noticed our children are so much more content with the simple everyday moments. They find so much more joy in creating games to play together, creating art, playing with mommy and daddy, reading, being read to, and get into so much more imaginative play! Even though our screen time was limited before, it was amazing how much out littles also relied on shows for play inspiration. Now they get all their ideas from their imagination and from the positive stories that they hear us read aloud to them. These are all stories that uplift and inspire family relationships. Stories that tell of compassion and courage, celebrate good character, and are filled with beautiful thoughts to fill their minds with. No show we watched ever did any of that. They did the opposite.
What are the screen plans moving forward?
We don’t plan on incorporating them back anytime soon. My husband and I often talk about just donating our tv and saying goodbye to the “entertainment” altogether. How freeing and amazing that would be? Him and I don’t watch shows during the week either, so right now, we just have it up on the mantle taking up room as a focal point when that has never been its purpose. It’s never been the “center” of our home, so why put it in a place where it is? It’s just something we’re considering.
What about the adults? Do we limit our screen time?
As I mentioned above, we don’t watch that many shows either. Our screen time comes from working. Whether that be YouTube, editing videos, etc. Anything beyond that is very limited. My husband and I will watch a movie maybe once every couple of months, but we will watch a YouTube video together that teaches us something about once a week (right now, we are watching a couple restore a castle!). I will also listen to a lot of my favorite YouTubers or podcasts while I am cooking or cleaning.
The most important part about cutting back on screens!
Our sweet babies copy everything that we as parents do. If we ourselves are consumed by technology, then they will feel the pull to do so as well. If we are glued to our phones rather than being engaged in this beautiful life with each other, then they will become disengaged with us and each other. I want them to look back at their beautiful childhood and remember their parents watching and delighting in them. Delight. Let them see you delight, mama.
“While your children are little, cultivate an attitude of sacrifice. Sacrifice your peace for their fun, your clean kitchen floor for their help cracking eggs, your quiet moment for their long retelling of a dream. . . . Prioritize your children above other work you need to get done. They are the only part of your work that really matters.”
~ Rachel Jankovic, Loving the Little Years
What are our current favorite screen free activities?
Outdoor time! Spending time in nature is by far the most beneficial and life-giving thing our family does. It doesn’t matter if it’s a simple backyard walk or a grand park adventure. Both provide a beautiful opportunity for connection. If you’re in the little years, this is also the perfect way for you and your husband to connect. We treat our family walks as a casual “date”. The littles happily run around and explore, so while we walk behind them we also get an opportunity to connect and talk about all the things!
We LOVE Laurence King’s Bingo games! They have provided our family with so many hours of educational fun!
We have tried a lot of different magnetic tiles, but the actual Magna Tiles brand is worth investing in. We have had ours for four years now, and they are still in great condition!
Puzzles are by far one of our favorite activities to do both in the evening time and during the day. It’s especially great for a simple activity to do when you need something “restful” to do before bed.
Mosaic Sticker pads! These are another wonderful activity for when you need something quiet to play and do. They provide hours of entertainment, and they are enjoyed by the entire family!
Sheet Pan Science! This is a wonderful book for simple kitchen science experiments. They are open-and-go, and don’t require a lot of time and materials to complete.
Natural Candle Making Kit is a wonderful activity for a special weekend or activity. Since it’s a consumable project, it can only be completed once, but we found it to be worth the $20 for a memory making evening.
It’s okay to be bored!
The reason I didn’t want to share too many physical items is because we should never underestimate the beauty of boredom. Those beautiful times in the day when imagination takes over, hearts are settled, and you can feel the peace of a calm spirit. It’s in the boredom where true contentment and joy can be found. When our little ones are “bored” they are close and connected to one another, working together to build their own imaginative world. It’s been a beautiful thing to witness the sibling closeness. All because they were “bored”. Boredom is a gift, and it’s too often overlooked.